Everybody has different ears and their brains process sound differently. What might not seem very bad and chill to you can be extremely disturbing to somebody else and vice versa. It’s no one’s fault, life just sucks sometimes. Be considerate within reason.
People need to get called out for this more.
I was thinking “I bet back in the day people would have called people out on their shit. That’s why standards was higher”. So I called some guy out on it and he was like “sorry sorry sorry. Okay” and he put his hands up.
Look cunt you obviously seem to know it’s not right if you acting like that so why you being a knobhead? Just because no one will call you out?
You got what you wanted and you’re angry about it. YOU are the problem.
I can only imagine what a dick you probably are all the time. Even by your own telling in this story you sound like you were probably rude or even threatening to a stranger because they made you so mildly uncomfortable.
Not even really because you were uncomfortable, but because you are roiling mad about cell phone etiquette having declined since “back in the day”. Whatever that means.
You don’t even know what he said. You have no evidence they were rude or threatening in their request.
Albeit you sound snowflake enough if someone asked you full stop to ‘please turn it down’ that you’d act a victim even on basic communication. You’d probably inject a bunch of narrative shit into the story to even play how you’re a victim.
Take this sodium all the way back to Reddit.
You got what you wanted and you’re angry about it
Bend what they said more, let’s see if it breaks! They got mad at the way the person responded revealing they knew they were doing a dick, it’s quite simple
I can only imagine what a dick you probably are all the time
Judging from your comment I’m going with: because projection
No. The person responded by trying to diffuse things:
he was like “sorry sorry sorry. Okay” and he put his hands up.
That doesn’t convey any sense of guilt, it conveys that he was trying to avoid a fight. he put his hands up. That’s how you show someone, “look, I’m not a threat, I’m not going to hurt you. you win.” It’s a strategic decision, not an admission of culpability.
He backed down and surrendered in the situation because it wasn’t worth getting into a confrontation about it. Unlike the commenter, he was able to keep this interaction in perspective.
And it’s this part that makes me think wanderer was probably threatening and rude. If wanderer made a normal, calm, polite comment/request, this is an unlikely reaction. It is likely occurring because the person on the phone thought they were in some danger.
Where I live we don’t have a hand gesture for that. I am curious what it entails?
You sure about that?
I said “can’t you put some headphones in?” And put my hands up gestured in like “what the fuck are you doing”?
I’m not going to start a fight with a guy sitting directly behind me. That’s strategically stupid. I didn’t even stand up.
Technically I guess he put one hand up because his other was holding the phone. Which is a very, very common gesture of guilt. I literally watched a game today and one of the players made that gesture to his own teammates when he made a mistake. I doubt he was expected to get punched by them either.
And put my hands up gestured in like “what the fuck are you doing”?
Where I live we don’t have a hand gesture for that. I am curious what it entails?
So this guy was sitting there watching a video or whatever, probably not attending to his surroundings, when out of nowhere some other person is suddenly right in front of his face confronting him, waving his hands around. Since your description of the hand gesture is “what the fuck”— a pretty hostile thing to communicate to a stranger by any method— wouldn’t you say there is a possibility that it was interpreted as menacing?
Even if you do know better than to start a fight on public transit, this guy doesn’t know you. People start fights for less. He’s not reading your mind, to know you are thinking like sun tzu, and would therefor not attack from a position of weakness like the seat in front. People get stabbed on busses and trains for minor insults. Don’t you think he could have just been cautious?
Or conversely, he knew himself to be potentially violent. Maybe he was trying to hold himself back from starting a fight and thought backing down was just the best strategy to exit the situation. I’ve known people who have control to a point and they sometimes do weird things to keep themselves from that point.
I literally watched a game today and one of the players made that gesture to his own teammates when he made a mistake. I doubt he was expected to get punched by them either.
Ah. I see.
So did the team mate then respond in a manner such as
Look cunt you obviously seem to know it’s not right if you acting like that so why you being a knobhead? Just because no one will call you out?
And then carry such a grudge as to later recount it and their dissatisfaction with the person even having made the error? Or the team mates acknowledged it and everyone moved on? Even if there was more teasing afterwards, you have to understand the context is that everyone who was playing a video game made a choice to do that with each other specifically, whereas this guy did not make a choice to be in a confrontation with you. You were just happening at him. And by your telling of the story, you were so mad thinking about “the old days” BS by the time you said something there basically was nothing he could have done to make you feel better. Don’t you think there is a possibility your body language was communicating more than you are even able to describe here? Even exactly as described it sounds menacing. But don’t you think he could have somehow gotten the feeling that you were mad at him as an avatar for all the problems and degeneration of the modern times?
You were a stranger of unknown intention and capacities. This man likely wanted you to leave him alone and go away. Even if you are correct and he did feel shame at being noticed for his rudeness, felt bad for interrupting your thoughts, and intended to concede to you a moral victory, he was probably also aware at the potential threat. Which, in a video game, is a non issue. That’s one of the things about video games: they are fake.
I don’t think it’s wrong to make requests of people around you. You wanna ask people to be quiet, that’s fine. But you need to learn how to do it in a peaceable way. Think of it as modeling the behavior you want to see. You want others to be quiet, unobtrusive and considerate, then you should be quiet, unobtrusive and considerate. You can still assert your needs and desires. Sometimes you will be accommodated and other times you won’t be. If, as you say, the guy was completely apologetic because he knew what he had done was wrong, then you could have been really pleasant about it, no “wtf” hand gestures, and you would still have gotten what you wanted. You could have even said “thank you, I appreciate your consideration” and smiled and been happy about it. Would have been a totally different story to tell here in the thread. All under your control.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You are talking like some stereotypically white knight that knows how the world works and how everyone thinks and fantasies about how things should be. Yet for all this worldly knowledge that no one ever else could possibly comprehend the world doesn’t work out for you.
Some guy was being a dick on public transport, seemingly knowingly, I call him out for that and he stopped. All good.
Love how you can know so much about a situation that you didn’t even see. That’s a real good magic trick. Maybe you should be a detective?
Where I live we don’t have a hand gesture for that. I am curious what it entails?
You put your hand up like a high 5. It is generally seen as a “I fucked up, I know, sorry” it’s pretty common it a lot of cultures. Weird you don’t know this yet you know so so much above everything else
“what the fuck”— a pretty hostile thing to communicate to a stranger by any method— wouldn’t you say there is a possibility that it was interpreted as menacing?
How is wtf hostile? Like if you seen a duck carrying a cat across the road and some guy made a wtf gesture at you, you’re going to reach for you gun?
Even if you do know better than to start a fight on public transit, this guy doesn’t know you. People start fights for less. He’s not reading your mind, to know you are thinking like sun tzu, and would therefor not attack from a position of weakness like the seat in front. People get stabbed on busses and trains for minor insults. Don’t you think he could have just been cautious?
So let’s get this right. People get attacked on busses for minor things. You think this guy is worried I might have beat him, and you think that too, because that’s what’s happened on public transport.
Well it sounds like I did this guy a favour, the next guy might have stabbed him. Everyone that gets on the bus with him wins because they don’t get pissed off and he wins because no one kills him for being a dickhead.
If him being scared prevents all this then I guess you are right. I did him a favour.
Look cunt you obviously seem to know it’s not right if you acting like that so why you being a knobhead? Just because no one will call you out?
I’m sorry I can’t read minds thinking about the situation at a different time period. But again, that’s an awfully good skill you have.
Omg you are actually talking about video games now. You’re too much.
Have you considered that he just forgot? People can not be fully attentive sometimes. He basically said thanks for reminding me and sorry about that. That’s ok in my book
If you forget to be considerate, you are, in fact, being inconsiderate and people have a right to be annoyed by it.
I’d say inconsiderate is more like ignoring a request to be considerate. Accidental inconsideration is normal and happens to everyon, especially neurodivergent people.
Considerate literally comes from considering (aka thinking of other people when making decisions), if you forget to take other people into account when making decisions, you’re being inconsiderate.
It’s not complicated.
He forgor
Depends.
If the guy said sorry like in your story he obviously Canadian.
You do that in Australia you either get punched or a chicken shit who has his ego so far up his anxiety he makes an effort to talk back, fails and jumps out on the next train stop afraid you’re gonna punch his gizzards. (But hey it was effective non the less)
If it’s in America you just created another school shooting what with traumatizing a student by asking him to turn down his device and now the world must pay.
Maybe don’t walk around the store while on facetime with the volume on full blast while you’re at it.
But this argument can’t wait until I go home!!!
Then there is this guy that has his headphones so loud that I can hear what he listens to from 5 rows away
Free trip to hearing damage town if they aren’t already
I was on an airplane one time when someone was doing that. The flight attendant heard it and said something like, “Oh no, that’s not okay,” then figured out who it was and had them turn it down. No one even asked - she just did it. Excellent.
I used to judge people for going about their daily lives with headphones on (like shopping) as being antisocial. In the last few years, I’ve come to realize they were just quicker to realize how annoying our society is and I’m increasingly likely to join them.
Recently I went to a mall and visited all the department stores. One of them had a guy playing a piano live and my first thought was “how quaint”. Then, as I sat and waited for my wife to try things on it struck me that I wasn’t hearing horrible music played over speakers - the piano was really nice. Why can’t places go back to playing relaxing music like that (even recorded)?
Drag shops with phonics in. Drag has autism and doesn’t need to hear 50 people’s conversations and bad pop music just to have a migraine when drag gets home. Drag does not think the grocery store is a place for social interaction anyway.
I’m definitely in agreement now, it just took me a bit longer to get over the shift in social norms.
Theres a restaurant I go to which plays music that youd expect from a fallout game. The old folks like it cause nostalgia but a couple other folks on the younger end have said something along the lines of “I heard this in Fallout New Vegas” its great, also apparently Big Iron played once and a bunch of old bastards and younger guys sung along to it. I wish I was there for it.
IMO, there’s two main factors at play. First, the speakers in most stores suck. They have to buy them at volume (quantity, not loudness), and install them everywhere. The primary reason they have them is for paging, so they can make announcements and request that people go places. Music just gives the speakers something to do while not doing announcements.
Due to the amount of speakers they buy, and their primary purpose being for announcements, they don’t exactly buy high quality speakers. If the store has existed for a long time (maybe 10+ years), then it’s likely they’re analog, so the quality is also affected by the amps they’re using, and the cables, etc.
As long as the system can still do paging/announcements without issue, the business really doesn’t have any reason to spend money on upgrading it.
For the most part, most companies have connected these to some kind of satellite radio or music streaming system (like Spotify, but more business centric). It’s just plugged into the ancient sound amps for the analog system, often by someone who isn’t an audio expert, so levels are often all over the place, sometimes to loud and blown out, other times too quiet and details in the music are too quiet to be heard.
As long as the speakers still perform the announcements/paging that the company requires, they don’t care if the music sounds bad.
There’s a lot more to say on it for contributing factors, but the main drivers for it are not to play music. With the shift to digital and everything needing to update their music providing device, coupled with untrained people doing the connections for the new music solution to an ancient speaker system, it’s unsurprising that it sounds like garbage.
Great points on the horrible quality of sound in these places. I was referring more to the selection of music, but playing it at low quality certainly makes it worse. My kids joke that the grocery store is where old pop songs go to die.
Some other things to add:
- Stand left, walk right on escalators and moving walkways
- Do not walk more than two abreast, and be aware that there may be people behind you who want to walk faster.
My main gripe with society is that everyone else is in their own little worlds and I’m stuck in the real one dealing with them all.
Stand left, walk right on escalators and moving walkways
This may be region-specific. In my area, I generally see it the other way around. But unless you’re the only person, it’s usually pretty clear which side to stand.
Yeah, I got it backwards. Unless you’re in a former Commonwealth country and you drive on the left
Stand left, walk right on escalators and moving walkways
This will get you killed in the UK. People would cheer.
Treat yourself like a car and park - I see too many people just stopping in the middle of wherever to check their phone. It’s not hard to take a quick glance and find a spot off to the side. They should teach this stuff in schools.
Hiked up to a ridge today. Guy up there smoking and playing a radio. Ugh.
What a bunch of misanthropes. If you want silence wear earplugs.
I like to live in the world with people and people loooove music. And they love their family going on with gossip. And animal videos. And cartoons and soap operas. And people talking about the love of god. They love watching baseball. Etc.
The one time I can ever recall being annoyed was some guy watching video about covid conspiracies. I thought about arguing with him but I just got up and moved to another part of the train stop.
People’s speakers aren’t that good, you can easily escape the sound by moving if it is so bothersome. Or, learn to enjoy the company of people who differ from you rather than pretending there is some virtue in being a narrow minded jerk. Life is better.
You’re what’s wrong with the world.
A chill person who is motivated to get along with others so we can all live in peace. :) Yup a real scourge over here.
Except you’re not getting along with others, but instead ascribing negative traits (i.e. disagreeableness) to people who may have different neurobiology, instead of having empathy to try to understand how they may experience sensory input differently than you do.
Misophonia, PTSD, autism, ADHD, hypervigilance, and more. There are lots of reasons that loud videos on a phone in a public space can wreck somebody else’s day that they have no control over. Please have some empathy.
I love music. That doesn’t mean I’m going to love the music you’re listening to. Or want to hear it right then even if I do.
Am I going to want to hear someone playing upbeat ska after I just found out my mother died? No, I’m not.
Basic courtesy for others goes a long way.
No.
That’s was pisses me off ever since I started to go by train instead of my car for environmental reasons to work. Like what happend that people don’t understand the general politeness anymore. We used to be gentle to each other and that means that I don’t force other people to listen to my videos as well.
The last time a young mother gave her little 3 year old child an iPad to watch videos. I’m not sure what pissed me off the most, that it was with sound or that the mother gave an iPad to her kid, because it’s well studied how bad phones and tablets influence kids.
I wish I could by train to work. I honestly wouldn’t even mind the noise if I had the option to take a train. I bring my noise cancelling headphones everywhere so I doubt I would even hear it.
Noise cancelling bluetooth headphones are so awesome. I also use them all the time. It was just one day where I forgot them and it was a very bad day to not have them with me
Man, my brother is the worst for this. Has multiple pairs of headphones, usually at least one on his person, and STILL will blast his Instagram reel on speaker as if everyone around him wants to hear his doomscrolling and brainrot memes
I swear to god, please please please do not blast your fucking music, even if it is rad like ratm, on the walking trail. No one likes it and it makes you look like an asshole and I have to glare at you instead of giving you a friendly wave.
I see a few cyclists doing that these days on the bike trails. Some of these absurd $10K+ bicycles even have speakers built into them. I guess it’s slightly less obnoxious since a bicycle will pass a walker or runner very quickly, but it’s still dickhead behavior. Even worse than music, though, is people who blast fucking preachers.
Blasting preachers is a special sort of asshole behavior I never encountered or considered before. I bet they think they are saving souls.
The dude definitely had the smug look of the saved walking amongst the damned. I don’t think he cared about saving souls at all, just doing his version of virtue signalling.
Obnoxious dickheads gonna be obnoxious
okay, but what if it’s a very important porn video? /s
“A plot this deep has to be heard and seen to be fully appreciated.”
You stream it to the nearest screen. Don’t keep that confined to your phone alone.
That’s why you bring extra earbuds.
I completely agree.
But.
I fucking hate how I can’t read about anything any more. Especially instructional things.
It’s getting to the point that if there’s something I want to learn about or research, I have to watch a video. And of course, I probably didn’t bring headphones, because I wasn’t planning on listening to or watching anything.
I need headphones regularly for learning languages (Duolingo), learning coding, learning about physics etc So there are always Bluetooth headphones in my small bag.
There’s no life without them
Then you wait until you get home or to an otherwise appropriate venue. No one wants to hear a tutorial they didn’t ask for about putting up drywall on their commute home or in the grocery store.
This is not really true in my experience. The vast majority of instructional videos and video essays are just repackaging a text resource, often just the list of references from Wikipedia. I think you’re just falling for the veneer of professionalism that makes YouTubers popular, but remember it doesn’t actually mean they know what they’re talking about any more than a random forum poster. There are of course exceptions, but the glut of instructional videos is just because they’re profitable, not because they’re actually full of unique knowledge.
this is what closed captioning is for, ya know and the other thing
If you are in public, like a bus, restaurant, store, public space, etc.
Your phone shouldnt make any fucking noise at all besides ringing and the text ping noise.
And if you’re gonna answer it, don’t put it on speakerphone, and respect teh fact that everyone within 300 feet of you doesnt want to be party to your fucking phonecall.
No ringing or text ping noise either. Use vibrate like a civilized human.
ringing is fine as long as you dont have an obnoxious 4 minute ring tone
