They don’t think it be like it is.
But it do.
I went to therapy and now I’m a girl…
Were you also a girl before therapy? If so, this isn’t that uncommon.
I went to therapy as a teenager and now, decades later, I’m a grown man. Explain that, science!
Oh no…
The few times in my life I’ve been to therapy or counseling on times at very different ages in my life for wildly different reasons, it’s interesting that every single time, it amounted to them nicely asking me to let it go. Just stop letting whatever IT is affect you. Thanks asshole. How is that a fucking career?
I decided to start taking shrooms regularly. Works for me. YMMV.
I’ll be right…
Why have 3 mental health and no monies, when I can have no mental health and 3 monies!? taps head
Go to therapist.
Therapist says it is what it is.
exactly! this is my experience… that and “you can have drugs to deal with your drug problem if you want.”… i didn’t want and glad i that’s the decision i made. it is what it is
“It is what it is” works until it doesn’t. Then, after you’ve swept all your problems under the rug for 10+ years, it’ll all come crumbling down. The idea that men should not show emotions and should always stay “strong” is one of the most toxic and destructive ideas out there. If you’re a guy going through some shit, please know that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to feel weak, it’s okay to ask for help. Shit often won’t go away by ignoring it, it’ll come back later to bite you.
I mean, that’s pretty much exactly what all three of my therapists told me
I have a fun story on this. I’m male, and I have fairly recently been diagnosed with adult ADHD, which has given some context to why I am the way I am.
I also fairly recently hit burnout, which isn’t fun. But I have recovered and wanted to return to work. To facilitate this, I engaged with my doctor for a referral to a therapist to help deal with the unique challenges I faced. I had a call with the therapist (they’re entirely remote), in October, they gave me some “homework” of stuff to check into as I transition back into working, and set a follow up call for about a month later (mid November)…
I still haven’t heard from them and it’s now mid-December.
I was forgotten about by my therapist.
It is what it is.
Therapy doesn’t fix any of the most pressing issues I have. I’d wager about 85% or more of my stress is economic or environmental in nature. My big three worries are how am I gonna afford a house by myself, how am i going to be able to retire on little money and without kids, and is the envrioment going to lose the ability to sustain human life while I’m still alive and on nothing more than a fixed income.
I don’t need to journal my thoughts and pretend the outside world doesn’t exist, I need some damn material security in my life.
Therapist: you need to focus less on the things that are outside of your control, and come to accept the fact that there are some things you just can’t change.
Me: crying you mean some things just be what they be?
It do
Or we could just toughen up a bit. You need to be willing to take life head on. Don’t go cowarding away from your problems.
(Just to be clear do go get help if you are facing serious metal health issues. I’ve lost people to suicide)
Lol, my father constantly telling me to toughen up is what led to me going to therapy.
Toughening doesn’t permanently do the trick, it leads to repression of emotion and is a very isolating thing. It’s better instead to be vulnerable and expand your support network. One strong tree isn’t as strong as the interlocked roots of a forest.
Like most things, toughening up can be helpful in some situations but when used for everything it becomes counterproductive. Like letting petty insults slide when they don’t matter is a pretty handy skill, but there is a need to also know when not to and when to reach out so that there is support for when it is needed.
I’m sorry your father did that to you.
I’ll bet more than one of them had serious mental health issues that were exacerbated by being told to just ‘toughen up a little bit’ when they reached out for support. Calling people cowards for acknowledging issues promotes a toxic view of men being able to open up about issues.
Well more money for those extra large tires and truck lifts parts…
I have seen several therapists both individually and in a group setting, and the therapist’s approach can range from “why don’t you try to cater to everyone else’s insecurities all of the time instead of standing up for yourself in a constructive way” to actual support that can lead to change. It isn’t a perfect solution and can require trying more than one therapist to find one that actually listens and helps if you want to actually fix something instead of just someone to listen to you complain.
They were all ridiculously expensive and only one was actually helpful. Heck, the successful one ended with less frequent sessions and then ending with a plan to schedule if needed. I can see why someone who only had experience with the other approaches wouldn’t want to waste money on not resolving anything.
In my limited experience the therapists who were men actually acknowledged issues and tried to resolve them, which makes a bit of sense as therapists come from the same society where women frequently want to just be heard and men want to do things because that is how they are raised.
Completely correct, and it seems that mentality is alive and well.
Bluntly, society seems to put the burden of being independent and successful squarely on the shoulders of men with little regard to their well-being. For most men, everything has a solution where you “just need to do x” and you’ll “fix” the issue. This works for stuff like a job, where something that’s a problem requires an active task to find and execute the solution. Soft skills not required.
Meanwhile, a lot of traditionally female held roles in society, usually in the form of care (mother/parent, nurse, customer service) are very soft-skill heavy. There may be no solution, and their job is to make everyone okay with the situation… More mitigation, than fix. Just make the problem less bad.
Meanwhile, nobody bats an eye when a woman mentions that they see a therapist, but when a guy mentions it, he’s seen as weak, that he doesn’t have the solutions to the issues he faces, yet the men have never been given the tools to deal with situations that they cannot control. Either you fall in line with a “yes, sir!” Or you find a new solution to fix the problem. Just accept it and move on with life, or find a better way. There’s no grey area, so many just go with “it is what it is” rather than actually trying.
With society getting to the point where many traditionally gendered roles are being assigned to anyone (which, don’t get me wrong, this is progress), the thinking needs to change.
