Vampires don’t go outside. Sun burns.
Go outside at night then
It’s dark and I can’t see anything.
I need my phone for flashlight.
Sure, go out for a walk into town or the forest, or a bike ride. Meet nobody who wants to talk to you, take photos that nobody wants to see or just sit and listen to birdsong. The one thing I have gained out of going outside frequently is the realization that we are one organic system, every plant, every animal, unified by the fact that every living creature has a finite life span. So my body too will rot and decay, I will no longer exist in the present and that is beautiful, for however much I hate my life, it is no different from that of a squashed bug on the dirtpath.
The grass here is spiky and horrible. It’ll break the skin, it’s basically walking on occasional thorns. I don’t recommend touching grass in all situations, and I need to move
Have you considered shoes?
I know a few people who this applies to.
Go outside so you can melt like an ice cream cone in the sun.
What if you pitched a tent in your living room and got inside it with a second phone in your other hand?
I’m already drinking between 1.5 to 2.5 gallons a day! I don’t think I can up my intake much more.
True!
Just be confident and have a shower. 99% of your problems will be solved if you just did that.
Wow, that completely healed an entire childhood of trauma in a single comment.
Get a bottle of No-More-Tears and cross out Tears and write in Trauma in sharpie. Lather, rinse, repeat. Easy as that.
Follow me for more counselling advice and haircare tips.
Bro don’t be an incel. Take a shower and wash that trauma off and be confident.
It’s not the cards you were dealt but how you play them
If I had to compare my face to these two, it definitely looks more like the first one, but I still find this meme hilarious because of how earnest the fried guy looks and how ridiculously stupid the attractive guy is for starting with confidence for his advice for that dude.
Being attractive is an exaggerated positive. I know this Indian guy who is 5’2, balding, chubby, and works in tech support and he slays in life all the time because he is downright hilarious. He has this immensely funny personality and is naturally charming. I’ve literally seen him steal girls from guys who were better looking than him in every single way. Life is mostly about your personality and how you can utilize it.
Oh yes, I totally agree. I just love this meme for the extreme nature of it. If anything, I would have to argue that attractive people are generally lower quality humans, because they can coast on their looks. I know I’m hot, but I consider it the least interesting thing about me. There’s very little I can do to control the way I look, but there’s an awful lot I can to do be a helpful, useful, and generally enjoyable person.
What meme?
The grass here is spiky and horrible. It’ll break the skin, it’s basically walking on occasional thorns. I don’t recommend touching grass in all situations, and I need to move
literall–
Downvote and move on. OP needs to learn a second adverb.
Jokes on you, Jesus. I’m outside on my phone.
I’ll go outside, but I am NOT putting the phone down.
Ok, just look out for that p…
Oh, never mind. Should I call an ambulance?
What was the P? Pole? Pothole? Pussycat?
At least put pants on
no
I walk outside as God intended.
Balls swinging, crocs squeaking.
I feel attacked
Perhaps I should go touch grass
Going outside? What for, exactly?
To experience the anthropogenic global warming.
So boooring…
Outside is where the mosquitos live.
There’s sunlight too. Gross.