Night time me is always screwing over morning me. Dude never cares enough to get me enough sleep.
We’ve all heard the rumors about that guy’s mother.
I’ve been inside his mother jokes on him
an old me was like that makes no sense but a later iteration of me was like oh just no punctuation the me typing this is like fuck it enjoy your day
“being inside your mother’s jokes” is a pretty common expression. It means that one sucks so hard that even another’s mother is making fun of you
it’s ok that you didn’t get whatever terribly dry humor i failed at. but i am quite concerned that you would try to explain Yo Momma jokes.
the yo momma quips of today harken back to the dein mutti barbs often exchanged between warring Germanic tribes with the Romans they conquered. Historians believe the vulgarizations to be universal thus ensuring their efficacy across different tongues
well, that is a proud and proper riposte. well done. i don’t know if you are lying and I don’t care.
Lies were invented by wooly mammoths before their extinction by post-agriculture humans who kept feeding them bad bread to hunt them easier. At the time, the only evasion strategy was to convince the predators that they were small badgers.
That guy has never done anything to help me
Future me sucks, he gets all my stuff.
You can prevent his inheritance buy selling all your stuff before the future
Heroin will show him.
buy selling
I’m enjoying this far more than I should.
You should hear what my present self has to say about me. Just another asshole in my life.
That’s some self hate right there.
My dumb ass scrolling past this thought “your future self is taking a shit”
I really hope future me has had enough fibre.
