The difference is that the claim was never “all men are creepy, violent or predatory”, which is where the -isms start, but rather “Enough men are predatory that women tend to feel unsafe when alone with strangers”. Us saying “Well, I’m not a bad guy” doesn’t change anything about the fact that some men are and go unchecked. We’re arguing semantics of the problem instead of looking for a solution.
Yes, for some women it definitely has become misandry. That may be a separate problem, but it might also be tackled by dealing with some of the contributing factors that push women there or give the sexists ammo to fire at men with.
Hence, I propose we talk about what we, the not-bad-guys can do to help fix that root. Progress doesn’t come through complacency, but through action. It’s not just about women either, but also about “weaker” men, for lack or a better word.
I believe we need to make a point of engaging problematic behaviour directly when it happens. If we stay silent and look away, we project an image of “I don’t care, not my problem” that normalises such behaviour. But I’m not sure about the best way to confront it without escalating the situation, and that’s what I think we need to figure out.
You’re exactly correct under your premise. However the comment I was replying to literally said “yes all men”. And the one above that said the “not all men” people should STFU, which is the dangerous and repeated sentiment that is justifiably contended and ought to be avoided if the point is really to rally people behind an effort and not to attack people based on their group identity. When an entire group is targeted with absolutes it tends to make them feel unwelcomed, defensive and generally turned off by an otherwise noble cause.
So from what I gather on the song lyrics, it’s saying “Yes, all men need to participate in finding a solution”.
Still, putting those first three words on the first line is basically baiting by echoing an identity group, and then going “hah I tricked you, I’m not actually generalizing you”. I’m not surprised some people would magnetize to those words, misinterpret, and feel offended. Like, if the below lyrics actually existed:
Worst thing in this world is N-!
It’s a horrible word to say!!
Still, I at least recognize the point, even if I don’t always know what I can be doing to watch for gender violence.
Classifying all _ together is exactly how all -isms begin. You can’t solve the problem by being a worse problem
A worse problem? Women being justifiably reluctant to trust strange men is worse than rapists?
The difference is that the claim was never “all men are creepy, violent or predatory”, which is where the -isms start, but rather “Enough men are predatory that women tend to feel unsafe when alone with strangers”. Us saying “Well, I’m not a bad guy” doesn’t change anything about the fact that some men are and go unchecked. We’re arguing semantics of the problem instead of looking for a solution.
Yes, for some women it definitely has become misandry. That may be a separate problem, but it might also be tackled by dealing with some of the contributing factors that push women there or give the sexists ammo to fire at men with.
Hence, I propose we talk about what we, the not-bad-guys can do to help fix that root. Progress doesn’t come through complacency, but through action. It’s not just about women either, but also about “weaker” men, for lack or a better word.
I believe we need to make a point of engaging problematic behaviour directly when it happens. If we stay silent and look away, we project an image of “I don’t care, not my problem” that normalises such behaviour. But I’m not sure about the best way to confront it without escalating the situation, and that’s what I think we need to figure out.
You’re exactly correct under your premise. However the comment I was replying to literally said “yes all men”. And the one above that said the “not all men” people should STFU, which is the dangerous and repeated sentiment that is justifiably contended and ought to be avoided if the point is really to rally people behind an effort and not to attack people based on their group identity. When an entire group is targeted with absolutes it tends to make them feel unwelcomed, defensive and generally turned off by an otherwise noble cause.
You misdnderstood the quote. Read it again.
That’s because the phrase “not all men” is a distraction from the actual point.
Then the turned off group hasn’t really done some introspection on the underlying issues.
So from what I gather on the song lyrics, it’s saying “Yes, all men need to participate in finding a solution”.
Still, putting those first three words on the first line is basically baiting by echoing an identity group, and then going “hah I tricked you, I’m not actually generalizing you”. I’m not surprised some people would magnetize to those words, misinterpret, and feel offended. Like, if the below lyrics actually existed:
Worst thing in this world is N-!
It’s a horrible word to say!!
Still, I at least recognize the point, even if I don’t always know what I can be doing to watch for gender violence.
Art provokes sometimes. That’s just how it is.
My suggestion: Try not to reproduce patriarchy and toxic masculinity and call it out when it happens.