I hope it makes some men (looking at the commenters on r/tinder who speak in terms of a marketplace) understand that they aren’t necessarily competing with other men, they’re also competing with the null hypothesis: Would she rather be alone (or with a bear).
You have good women, likely already taken and not on Tinder.
You have men hating women who think they’re all disgusting rapists.
You have abusive women who look for weaker men to manipulate.
Who are you most likely to meet if one group is not there, another is not actually really interested in you anyway and the third will probably cheat on you, gaslight you and maybe even get physical.
That’s not a very logical argument, if you’re on a dating site you’ve already filtered out all people not looking for a partner, it’s like being surprised that everyone who comes to your sandwich shop happens to be hungry.
Women who would genuinely rather be in the forest with a bear are not on tinder, though there is of course a bar where if you’re the only option it’s still possible that you won’t meet someone’s lowest requirements - this causes the sludge effect where anyone above the average bar is removed quickly while those below tend to get other sludge stuck to them (toxic behaviors develop due to failure or trauma) which makes future selection less likely.
The real key is the more experience someone has with dating sites the less you should trust their opinion or advice, by the time someone is posting on r/tinder they’re already likely to have failed consistently for some time.
I think this is part of the issue with the bear question, we instinctively know that when someone is ranting about women not being able to hold a conversation that it’s not a reasonable view but we also need to start to recognize that ‘I surround myself with exaggerated and often fabricated stories about how awful X is and only engage in spaces where counter argument is rejected’ will cause bias that negatively affects people snd communities.
I hope it makes some men (looking at the commenters on r/tinder who speak in terms of a marketplace) understand that they aren’t necessarily competing with other men, they’re also competing with the null hypothesis: Would she rather be alone (or with a bear).
It also means that the remaining women out there are likely predators themselves. They can’t win.
I’m not following your logic here
You have good women, likely already taken and not on Tinder. You have men hating women who think they’re all disgusting rapists. You have abusive women who look for weaker men to manipulate. Who are you most likely to meet if one group is not there, another is not actually really interested in you anyway and the third will probably cheat on you, gaslight you and maybe even get physical.
Because there is none.
That’s not a very logical argument, if you’re on a dating site you’ve already filtered out all people not looking for a partner, it’s like being surprised that everyone who comes to your sandwich shop happens to be hungry.
Women who would genuinely rather be in the forest with a bear are not on tinder, though there is of course a bar where if you’re the only option it’s still possible that you won’t meet someone’s lowest requirements - this causes the sludge effect where anyone above the average bar is removed quickly while those below tend to get other sludge stuck to them (toxic behaviors develop due to failure or trauma) which makes future selection less likely.
The real key is the more experience someone has with dating sites the less you should trust their opinion or advice, by the time someone is posting on r/tinder they’re already likely to have failed consistently for some time.
I think this is part of the issue with the bear question, we instinctively know that when someone is ranting about women not being able to hold a conversation that it’s not a reasonable view but we also need to start to recognize that ‘I surround myself with exaggerated and often fabricated stories about how awful X is and only engage in spaces where counter argument is rejected’ will cause bias that negatively affects people snd communities.