“Flavius, look! It’s your wife and her mother!”

US: “Oil tankers! Go this way instead! No, you don’t have a choice!”

Yeah. Why not? Why not just move the pentagon there, too?

I’d like DeSantis to study this whole situation more. Perhaps putting him in the path of a hurricane would give him a more informed perspective.

Thank you. I think I have it now.

US special forces broke this guy out of house arrest in Japan so he could move back to Lebanon.

This is an odd level of international intrigue!

He looks like he was strapped to the hood of a Nissan which was driven so fast the wind pushed his features up and back. Guy’s obviously had a facelift, but it was from someone much taller who thought his face was a barbell to curl. I’ve never heard him speak, but I have no doubt his every sentence begins with a small, high-pitched ‘myehr’ sound.

Yes, I visited Themdamninjuns last time I went through Illinois.

for the purposes of my joke, many people wouldn’t have known - or cared to know - the names of the local tribes

I’ve never been through Illinois

Yes. Now the public knows Netanyahu’s a gutless babykilling cunt.

Many sports have a ‘world cup’.

China is only interested in advanced math competitions, and India only cares about cricket.

I wish the worldwide media would decline reporting anything to do with those two.

“tHe LeFt Is ThE pArTy Of ViOlEnCe!”

a) Eggs come in 6 or a dozen. Fridge has little shelf with holes for 8 eggs.

b) I always feel as if a supermarket employee is gonna get really offended, and start telling me I can’t open the eggs to check they’re not cracked. They won’t, because they honestly couldn’t give a fuck, they’re just trying to get through their shift. But the feeling is there. Egganoia makes me feel as if the security cameras are zooming in, though, making sure I don’t pocket an egg. “Hey, we saw video of a woman in a supermarket in Russia shoving a raw chicken up her hoo-hah! It’s not impossible you might wanna pocket an egg, fella!”

https://returnyoutubedislike.com/

"Y’know … they should really be giving this trophy to me. I know all about soccer. Nobody knows more about soccer than me. Nobody. Biden didn’t know about soccer. Barack Hussain Obama didn’t know about soccer. I know. I know all about it.

Y’know … some of these men? Big strong legs! No women, either! Fake news tells you there’s women’s soccer, but nobody believes 'em.

Y’know … we have the ‘hottest’ country in the world right now, thanks to everybody’s favourite president: ME. The Strait of Iran is open if they know what’s good for 'em. We’re gonna see about tariffs on that sometime. We might become a little aggressive with 'em. I dunno. It all depends on Greenland.

And they play soccer there! Did you know that? I did. I saw them vandalize the soccer, just scooped it up 400 … 500 miles. Why would they do that? Do you know? No, you don’t, because you’re fake news.

$14 million is a much better deal, don’t you think? Awash. They’re awash because of me. Did you know that word? You didn’t, did you? Because I knew it. I knew the word. It has a ‘h’ in it, like ‘white’. Somebody should look into that. I would, but I already know how it turns out. It turns out in Chy-nah. Just like them!

Anyway, what do I sign now? You see this signature? I can make money from this signature.

Believe me. Believe me".

Concerning!

Yes, that makes sense. I stubbed my toe on this table, so now I’m gonna hit this apple with a hammer.

Daffy Duck on the krokodil, I see.

Wouldn’t be surprised to hear Palantir was scraping data from the French spy service while they worked for them.