Meanwhile, in France:

“What’s the roundish thing we eat a lot?”

“Apples?”

“No, the one that grows underground.”

“Dirt apples?”

Bad bot

But a B-List actor told me it would trickle down half a century ago, so let’s give them the benefit of the doubt and maybe we’ll catch a dribble

Meanwhile the guy in the top left is just pleased as punch

Carbon taxes need a caveat that prices cannot change due to the tax. Otherwise it’s just another way for big business to profit.

“We had to raise our prices because of the carbon tax!”

“But the tax is 8% and your prices have gone up 20%”

shrugs “Dunno. Carbon tax.”

Or get a sense of how little you know about the product/competition to judge how much they can get away scamming you for.

Anxiety has entered the chat

Rather, they’re not sorry they tried to scam you, they’re sorry it didn’t work.

I still fucking love Star Wars. I’m super excited for this game.

I will never pay $110 for a god damn video game. And neither should any Star Wars fan.

Oh no! Actors being paid the minimum legal amount?!

Think of how much it will cost to produce now that they have to pay the least they can possibly be allowed to pay someone!

In other news, new evidence shows Hitler “wasn’t such a great guy” even as early as 1932.

I’m not a scientist, I don’t know one way or the other if there are “cleaner” fossil fuels. But I believe the Exxon CEO when he claims there are.

Hanlon’s Razor doesn’t apply to CEOs. It’s always 100% conscious malicious choices.

While it’s easy to believe Exxon would make up “we could have done it cleaner but it cost more than the market would bear” its much more in tune with big oil’s real strategy of “we absolutely knew about it and beyond doing nothing, we actively suppressed action about it and spent a lot of money ensuring no one else would too.”

To be clear: climate change requires individual responsibility. Keeping your kids off legitimate online pornography websites is too big for citizens to handle on their own and requires government intervention.

The real key is local bottling where local production isn’t possible.

Ship vats of Coca-Cola syrup to the 200 largest cities (more or less) in North America and create local bottle circulation.

Spice it up with local bottle designs or recycling marks. Now you’ve got novelty sales, collector sales, eco-conscious sales, ‘support local’ sales…

I wouldn’t be shocked by how poorly Blizzard treated its employees unless they literally had someone pacing through the office whipping employees whose retinal activity slowed below minimal compliance.

If you didn’t take like 8 seconds to read any part of that article, it says she has rich great-grandparents.

“Look at the great-grandparents she chose to have! What a hypocritical bitch!”

I’m sure Elon has tried running this model by the execs

What the fuck are you try to say? Because one bad organization does bad things, no one can say we should move away from torturing animals for extra profit?

Alright, everyone, calm down. Let’s not kink-shame this guy for setting up his toilet paper to dom him every time he poops.

You reach for that shit-rag, you miserable degenerate. You don’t deserve to have it presented to you, and don’t let anyone tell you different!

Why does the real world keep reading like satire?!