• Alexxxolotl@sh.itjust.works
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    5 months ago

    Hold on. Apologies for being out of the loop, but do people really bring sexual fetish stuff to a pride parade?

    And if so, what does that have to do with LGBTQ+?

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      I’ve yet to see a Pride event that didn’t have it, even in relatively conservative cities like Houston.

      And if so, what does that have to do with LGBTQ+?

      What does dressing up as an Astronaut have to do with All Hallow’s Eve? It’s a big party and people are expressing themselves. You don’t have to take it farther than that.

    • Shapillon@lemmy.world
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      5 months ago

      Imho there are two angles to this question:

      • First, queer folks are more likely to be kinky. Since they had to figure out what clicks for them at least once, they tend to do it on multiple aspects of their identities.
      • Secondly - and this one is more of a personal standpoint - I’d argue that kinks fall under the wider umbrella of queerness or GRSM (Gender Relational and Sexual Minorities which I find way better than an enumeration acronym).

      I’d also advocate for including neurodivergences under the queer brand too for instance.

      • Alexxxolotl@sh.itjust.works
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        5 months ago

        Thanks for the answer. Although, I still don’t really get it.

        I’ve heard that the kink community has a rule that people shouldn’t expose their fetishes to non-consenting strangers. Why on pride parades then? Isn’t engaging in these sort of activities here kind of wrong, like how you can’t just go out nude or have sex in public?

        • Shapillon@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          This is my personal opinion and it might not reflect the wider community’s. I’m not even giving a straight answer, just some points to think about ^^

          First and foremost Pride isn’t a singular event. Some are more celebratory and family friendly. But imho it’s original purpose is a protest and protests aren’t subject to the same rules as other places and times. e.g. you don’t tend to shout in the street everyday.

          Secondly this rule as an absolute doesn’t make a lot of sense. Even without critiquing the wider society’s rules a choker isn’t the same as a full puppy outfit. (and tbf I don’t see the issue with pups, it’s just dress up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

          Lastly, I personally find that view kinda rooted in puritanism. Why should it be shameful in the first place? It kinda has “don’t ask don’t tell” vibes.

          Lastly, how do you precisely define what’s a kink and what’s not?

        • tabris@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          It really depends on where you are and what sort of Pride event it is. If it’s a Pride march with lots of corporate sponsors, then you’ll see very little kink, maybe someone in full rubber, but probably no jockstraps. If it’s a ticketed gay village party, or a circuit party, you’ll definitely see some more risque kink gear being worn. If you’re at Folsom or in Berlin, there’s whole parades dedicated to kink, but even the straight public know about that, so if they don’t like it, they can avoid the area during those events.

          • Rustmilian@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            And how do you feel about the marches or rather individuals in these marches that go to far? To be clear I’m not talking about the people who wear rubber suits.

            • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              5 months ago

              Where is the widespread problem of kink in the streets? I’ve never heard of a huge kink problem at pride events other than pearl clutching mothers who object to queer people in public in general.

              • Rustmilian@lemmy.world
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                5 months ago

                I wouldn’t clarify the behavior of these individuals as “kink”… , I wouldn’t even clarify them as LGBTQ+ either.

                • WeirdGoesPro@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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                  5 months ago

                  Where are you seeing a large number of kinky people causing real problems in public?

                  My point is that you seem to be worried about an imaginary issue that, at worst, is something that is isolated to specific pride events that are geared towards adult sexual expression. Just because it makes you uncomfortable or you don’t consider it LGBTQ doesn’t mean it needs to be changed.

                  • Rustmilian@lemmy.world
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                    5 months ago

                    Again I’m not fucking saying it’s a common issue. Now you’re just misunderstanding what I’m saying in bad faith.

            • tabris@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              Define too far.

              Let me also ask you what you think about nude bike rides, where dozens, if not hundreds, of people cycle nude through a city. Is that too much for you?

              • Rustmilian@lemmy.world
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                5 months ago

                Having their genitalia out is too far. Butts and tits are not genitalia. What else is going too far is burning down a fucking Park, I attended this march myself as well, it was LGBTQ+ pride/racial injustice protest march (primarily a racial injustice protest).

                • tabris@lemmy.world
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                  5 months ago

                  What has a fire in a park got to do with what we’re discussing?

                  Nudity at Pride is rare, can happen, but it’s not exclusive to Pride. And also something that I think attitudes should change on. Nudity is not something that people should fear, nor should they be shamed if they are happy being nude.

                  • someacnt_@lemmy.world
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                    5 months ago

                    Doesn’t nudity reinforce lookism, and gives disadvantage to the people with invisible bodily defects? Let alone that some people do not want to see nudes.

                  • Rustmilian@lemmy.world
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                    5 months ago

                    The fire was started by individuals from a LGBTQ+ pride/racial injustice protest. I attended this march myself as well, it was primarily a racial injustice protest but a lot of individuals were wearing & celebrating pride stuff as well. The end result was many deciding to continue the protest at rec park, where then it was burned to the ground. My question is entirely centered around individuals that go to far, be it indecent exposure/genital nudity, or crimes in general.

      • chumbalumber@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        5 months ago

        Also don’t forget the historic aspect – when queerness was viewed as sexually deviant and perverted, it was the kink community that stood by us. Just because we’ve evolved to be socially acceptable doesn’t mean we should leave everyone else behind

        • AnIndefiniteArticle@sh.itjust.works
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          5 months ago

          What kind of a “community” exists around kink? Or do you just mean the superset of communities like furries, and whatever else is out there? What’s the line between those and more problematic sex clubs?

          • Hackworth@lemmy.world
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            5 months ago

            FetLife is a relatively respected kink social media platform. It’s not about hooking up (though that certainly happens, just like on any online platform - hell, I knew people that later married that met in EQ). From my limited experience there, it’s mostly about making everyone feel less ostracized. Of course, they have to have very explicit rules about consent, or that turns into a predator’s playground - but again, that’s true of any social media platform.

            • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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              5 months ago

              I don’t know why it sticks in my head but I read an article many years ago written by a straight cis woman who kept on showing up to a gay male leather BDSM club and chatting up a storm. One night one of the guys there tells her off causing her to write an article about how they were anti-woman to her. And from there she derived a general principle that male homosexuals hated women.

              It’s like dude, there is nothing for you there, it’s their space not your space, if you showed up to my D&D table each week commenting and not playing I might do the same eventually. Also you know it is BDSM you should expect people into that to not exactly be super polite at all times. It’s quite literally a kink around inflicting consensual pain on each other, not exactly a grandma’s quilting circle.

              I think it sticks in my head because I felt like she was trying to provoke something, was successful at it, and now that she was hurt she must be right about her preconceived homophobia.

            • AnIndefiniteArticle@sh.itjust.works
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              5 months ago

              Jefferey Epstein didn’t kill himself.

              Before he didn’t kill himself, he infamously ran some sex clubs.

              These would be well-known examples representing a subset of what I would consider to be “problematic” sex clubs.

              I would not want to be a part of a pride celebration where clubs like those have representation.

              Pride is about throwing bricks at cops and celebrating our suppressed diversity, not the kinds of sex clubs that politicians go to. Pride is about tearing down hierarchies and problematic power dynamics, not fetishizing them. Or, at least, that’s my understanding of pride having never been to any sort of pride event. I know the history with stonewall and all of that, and that’s my picture of pride and what it should be.

              The kinds of sex clubs that politicians go to are the only kinds of sex clubs of which I am aware, so I’m skeptical of sex clubs being represented at pride.

      • afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        including neurodivergences under the queer brand too for instance.

        Think you should ask them first, but no one ever asks the autistic anything

        • MisterFrog@lemmy.world
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          5 months ago

          Unless it’s Etymology Nerd, in which case the answer is “I made a creole of my bird and dolphin languages.” and it’s glorious.

          Can recommend his videos, they are excellent.