My brother-in-law will go on like this with a story that seems like it’s going somewhere, but then the stories never reach any meaningful conclusion. I’m not saying he keeps talking indefinitely, I’m saying he’ll finish the story and there will have been no point. There’s no big climax, there’s no exciting or interesting conclusion at the end, he just tells you about some random, uninteresting part of his life as if it were a cool story to tell. He’s the only person I’ve ever met who does this. It’s really odd, and even after 20 years idk how to respond when he finishes.
Have you tried pointing that out, or maybe asking him relevant questions about it?
You realize he’s trying to share a part of his life with you, and the goal is likely to create some sort of connection. Perhaps he’s not very good at it and maybe his life really is very boring, but the reason he does it is likely because he’s looking for someone take an interest in him.
His life is far from boring. He’s awesome! He’s a badass graphics designer with his own business and an art degree from a prestigious university. He’s a bodybuilder with a successful YouTube fitness channel. He’s a really good break dancer. He’s a competitive BMX racer. And he’s a hunter and outdoorsman. He’s just really bad at telling stories for some reason, and always chooses pointless or boring experiences to share. We get along great, I just never know how to respond to his weird, pointless stories. Usually I’ll wait to see if there’s more, or if he’s done, and I’ll be like “haha… Cool.”.
Speaking from my own experience, yes, it can in fact be very difficult to learn from your mistakes if others only keep watching you repeat them and never tell you what you’re doing wrong.
I know there’s this school of though that says “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing it all”, but in the long run, it doesn’t really help anyone grow if you always withhold the truth from them. Just try to be diplomatic about it and offer help if at all possible.
My brother-in-law will go on like this with a story that seems like it’s going somewhere, but then the stories never reach any meaningful conclusion. I’m not saying he keeps talking indefinitely, I’m saying he’ll finish the story and there will have been no point. There’s no big climax, there’s no exciting or interesting conclusion at the end, he just tells you about some random, uninteresting part of his life as if it were a cool story to tell. He’s the only person I’ve ever met who does this. It’s really odd, and even after 20 years idk how to respond when he finishes.
Have you tried pointing that out, or maybe asking him relevant questions about it?
You realize he’s trying to share a part of his life with you, and the goal is likely to create some sort of connection. Perhaps he’s not very good at it and maybe his life really is very boring, but the reason he does it is likely because he’s looking for someone take an interest in him.
His life is far from boring. He’s awesome! He’s a badass graphics designer with his own business and an art degree from a prestigious university. He’s a bodybuilder with a successful YouTube fitness channel. He’s a really good break dancer. He’s a competitive BMX racer. And he’s a hunter and outdoorsman. He’s just really bad at telling stories for some reason, and always chooses pointless or boring experiences to share. We get along great, I just never know how to respond to his weird, pointless stories. Usually I’ll wait to see if there’s more, or if he’s done, and I’ll be like “haha… Cool.”.
Maybe try giving him some feedback on how he could make his stories more interesting?
I suppose I could do that. Maybe he doesn’t learn very well from observation.
Speaking from my own experience, yes, it can in fact be very difficult to learn from your mistakes if others only keep watching you repeat them and never tell you what you’re doing wrong.
I know there’s this school of though that says “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing it all”, but in the long run, it doesn’t really help anyone grow if you always withhold the truth from them. Just try to be diplomatic about it and offer help if at all possible.