If you’re talking to someone with a birth date in the 1980s, they were too old for that shit. And if that person has kids, they were too YOUNG for that shit.

So if anyone in that age bracket smiles and nods, like they get any Spongebob shit, they’re either a weirdo who watched a show for kids, long after they were too old for it (less likely), or else they’re just lying to you (very likely).

My fellow Millennials: I urge you to stop lying. The longer we pretend to understand this shit, the harder it will be to finally admit we don’t. At least 30 percent of meme communication relies on detailed knowledge of Spongebob, already. We have to let everyone know we don’t get it, or we’ll just be left entirely behind.

Sigh. I guess, now that I think about it, a pretty large number of 35-45-year-old stoners have watched Spongebob for reasons related to being stoners. Also don’t do that, please. We’re supposed to be actual adults, at this point.