I see this on askreddit all the time, “I realized I was the one reaching out, so I decided to let them initiate the conversation. We haven’t talked in years”.
Who keeps track of that? Seems weak.
Right? I’m guessing this is a teenage thing and we the olds just don’t understand?
I mean, I keep track in the sense that I’m introverted enough to never, ever, ever call anybody socially unless I have a practical reason, but that’s why social media, group chats and extroverted people exist.
People with social anxiety who wonder if they’re just annoying you by texting you too much or more than they should.
I have a 2:1 rule. If I start a conversation with you two times, I won’t talk to you again. Until you take the initiative the third time.
Sometimes that’s okay.
As long as it’s not overly one sided and they do engage when you message them, don’t overthink it.
If it’s really that one sided then it should just naturally fizzle out without much thought. Either way, it’s not worth worrying about.
If the person in question has ADHD, maybe cut them some slack. I have ADHD and I’m terrible at messaging people even though I enjoy talking to them and hanging out with them. I hope that my friends understand that.
Of course there’s an xkcd about it. I’ve found that I land on the left side of this spectrum with all of my friends - but also none of us text each other to begin with anyways.
Yeah, my best friend and I text like a few times a year.
Assuming you’re not kidding, how do you keep in touch enough to feel you’re best friends?
When you catch up after a few months apart it just works. I feel like that is part of what indicates a good friend.
Yup, we go backpacking a few times a year, and that’s really all it takes.
This isn’t really a big deal. A lot of introverts are friends with extroverts because they’re more comfortable doing things they don’t want to do. It’s no different than being friends with someone because they work harder to maintain a line of communication. So long as you show appreciation for that dynamic it can be healthy, especially if you’re up front about your struggles.
Lots of extroverts would appreciate how they’re allowed to be the center of enertainment within the group or that they’re allowed to take the reigns on what the group does. So long as it’s symbiotic you’re needlessly dropping potentially amazing friends by overthinking and applying your version of fairness that probably doesn’t match anyone elses version. It’s far better to just put in the effort you want to put in and keep expectations at a minimum.
I’m autistic and i almost never remember to initiat the conversation, or feel like it’s not appropriate. If any of my friends felt like you do, i won’t have any more friends. And i love my friends a lot and can’t survive without them. Don’t over think it. Each has their own way of socializing. It’s about the journey, not its initiation :)
You but maybe your friends have anxiety and start to overthink things. Just text your fucking friends bro, they’ll appreciate it.
I do, just not as often. I can’t control it. I do make sure to let them know i appreciate them contacting me though. As much as possible. Also, i don’t understand why the beginning of socializing is more important than the rest of it. Why is me being engaged and interested, continue the conversation, showing appreciation throughout, and making it obvious that I’m enjoying it and would enjoy more in the future, why does that have less weight than a “hi”? I can start a conversation with anyone, wither i like it or not. But keeping up the conversation is what matters to me.
You’re right though, it is a teamwork thing. Any relationship requires work from both sides. I present my work by showing appreciation to my friends, and so far it seems like it’s working in lowering their anxiety and over thinking :)
