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Joined 2 months ago
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Cake day: April 24th, 2024

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  • sp3tr4l@lemmy.ziptomemes@lemmy.worldWait what
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    11 days ago

    Nah, it was my handwriting, used the same lingo and joke I remember using at the time, took up most of the board… which is why I was so shocked it hadn’t been erased.

    Most of the time people wrote on it, they were gracious with the space.

    Due to typing far more often than writing, and many years later me figuring out oh haha I’m actually naturally left handed, my writing is a fairly uncommon kind of small cap block print, otherwise I am basically the only one capable of reading my non block print scribbles.



  • sp3tr4l@lemmy.ziptomemes@lemmy.worldWait what
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    11 days ago

    I recently returned to a hole in the wall restaurant that I used to frequent in my college days. One of the few actual restaurants in the city that never closed.

    A decade later, a semi nonsensical scrawl about being kind and good to people I’d written on a dry erase board while quite drunk… was still there.

    It only needed minor updating to be more gender inclusive, which someone else had done without removing any of my writing.

    When I was frequenting this restaurant, the whole board was wiped every week or so.

    For some reason, what I wrote persisted for a decade.

    I couldn’t believe it.





  • Dear sweet christ, I’ve been the manager of a medium sized non profits databases (everything other than finance because they’re special, as in using an overpriced wacky proprietary tool because they are used to it, oh and probably commiting fraud) and, as the author references, I have actually had one of the members of the board get a bunch of other people with 0 technical competence to try to get me to ‘implement blockchain technology’ on postgres.

    Non of those fucking morons could ever provide an actual project outline. None of these fucking morons even knew their own teams processes, and they would all change depending on team member asked and date.

    Not relevant to this story, but basically I am now disabled and living off of SSDI after being assaulted and seriously injured.

    I am 99% sure, after years of working with completely technically incompetent managers, I am never going to work in tech again.

    I would literally rather be poor, do uber eats delivery when I feel like it, and slowly build a video game, by myself, not even to make money, just to give my tech brain something to sate it.

    I am too autistic to be able to handle the constant stream of bullshit and social manipulation/pressure from everywhere I have ever worked.


  • Ive been calling this the reverse turing test:

    Can you tell that a known human being is not an ‘AI’ chatbot, based on text correspondence?

    Apparently we are now just going to have AI simulacra of ourselves date each other on dating apps and meet with each other on zoom.

    The meeting thing in particular is so fucking insane.

    Problem: Meetings waste time and accomplish nothing!

    Solution: Don’t hire or train competent people, instead, automate meetings, the transcripts of which will presumably still have to be read, and will likely not make any sense, thus necessitating more meetings.

    The goal of technological civilization apparently truly is to create maximum misery via maximizing meetings.



  • I appreciate the sentiment, very truly.

    Hah, my entire patriarchal lineage is massive alcoholics, so I actually drink alcohol very rarely, maybe a few times a year.

    I have managed to never get addicted to the stuff or become abusive from it, I’m basically just an absurdly lightweight drinker.

    Two whiskeys like in this pic in a row and I’d be stumbling. Two more soon after and I’d be slurring and stumbling.

    Or, the optimistic take on that is I can get a double shot of bourbon and nurse it for 4 to 6 hours and be enjoyable buzzed the whole time haha.

    Maybe someday I’ll find somebody, but right now I’m quite happy single.

    Maybe a few years go by and I’ll try again haha.

    Either way, cheers mate, probst, etc.


  • Hey, I’ll take it haha!

    Unfortunately my default joke state is basically dad jokes and puns, but my life has been so utterly absurd that I can basically just reference some insane nonsense that’s happened to me in the past somewhat indirectly, and most people just think I’m creatively making a joke.

    In seriousness, I have found that more conventional charcuterie boards are a pretty cost effective, while also decently fancy first kind of at someone’s place date, if presented well.

    I’ve done this multiple times and it has worked every time, and almost every time I’ll be told this is extremely adorable and no one has ever done this for them…

    …Then I find out, a year or two or three into the relationship, oh god, this person I love is extremely abusive, takes me for granted, and is astoundingly irresponsible.

    So I guess just hand me both of those whiskeys, neat, please.


  • To start off, put the gummi worms in a shaker, shake, collect the sour dust, snort.

    Next, add the whiskey to the shaker, set aside

    Dunk the bread in the McNuggies sauce, sprinkle on cocaine to taste.

    Add weed, thin crackers and coffee beans to grinder, grind thoroughly. Take the brie and your ground up spices, work them into each other as if you were making meatballs.

    Eat this raw.

    Ok, now vomit into the condoms.

    Now that the appetizer is done with, grab handfulls of the other cheeses, salami, prosciutto and McNuggies, and just stuff it into your face as if you were eating popcorn.

    Now that you’ve been thoroughly fucked by this culinary experience, finish it off with the drink you set aside earlier, which should hopefully be a lovely semi congealed glass of gummi whiskey.