“Me hate shrinkflation! Me cookies are getting smaller,” the googly-eyed, furry blue muppet declared on X on Monday, tapping into an economic trend of the day. “Guess me going to have to eat double da cookies!”
Cookie Monster is onto something: OREO Double Stuf Chocolate Sandwich Cookies shrank by 6% in size by weight from January 2019 to October 2023, according to a report based on Labor Department numbers.
Double Stuffed Oreos are the new regular Oreos and regular Oreos are now ‘go fuck yourself’ sized.
The Count is going to start teaching kids about corporate profits. “One billion extra dollars untaxed! Ha ha hah! 2 billion…”
Oscar the Grouch is going to be a working homeless who is forced to move his can every week by police.
Oscar the Grouch’s living situation is basically aspirational now. “You can afford to live in a trash can all by yourself? Like, no roommates or anything? Wow!”
Have you never seen the inside of Oscar’s trash can? That place is a palace. He’s got an olympic size swimming pool in it. He also has an ice skating rink and a bowling alley.
Oh man, a lid? I don’t think I can afford this place.
Count explaining tax brackets would actually be kinda funny
I don’t think he’d explain. What, ah, do you think he’s talking about here, huh?
(FYI it’s an unnecessary censorship, so possibly NSFW.)
Between this and Elmo asking if everyone is OK, it makes me happy to see these characters in the current zeitgeist!